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Journal

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Plan to...

Good ol’ Benjamin Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Truer words could not have been spoken… but, as titled, Phase 2 was called “Preparing for the Unknown.” And, unfortunately, the unknown, though named, is still “unknown.” (Damnit!) 

So, there I was at the leasing office in Dallas. We had spent the weekend viewing properties to figure out our new living situation. All the properties were mapped out with the important pins highlighted, we had discussed a list of questions to ask each property, and were confirmed to make it into-and-out of each location within 45-minutes to keep our schedule… and we were walking… in Dallas. In short, though there is way more planning that went into the above to share (did I mention that we were walking?), we made a decision after 2.5 days and found ourselves at the leasing office of our new living situation… and we were super excited to be there! Yahoo!

But then I was asked a question that, when asked, felt like I was being run over by a train… a train with a lot of cars attached to it. 

“Debra, what is your annual gross salary?” 

Um… square peg, meet round hole. Ugh. I didn’t have an answer! I had no answer. Each time I was asked to answer this question in a different way to complete the on-line leasing application for the property management company it felt like another train car was running me over. 

Hello, Benjamin Franklin. My super awesome plan for the unknown, the 26 appointments with leasing offices around Dallas, prepared me for life… not business. I didn’t prepare my income/revenue goals. I committed the crucial entrepreneurial mistake of not knowing my numbers. But, to turn my frown upside down, I immediately recognized the importance of two practices:

Affirmations. I will not deceive you into thinking that I actually used these immediately… but I understood their importance about 30-minutes after the lease application meeting. They helped… a lot. My go-tos were: I’m going to make it. I will be fine. It will just take some time. These statements are way less specific than affirmations are supposed to be… but they got me through the anxiety around being a total waste of space upon moving to Dallas.

Meditation. I’ve struggled with trying to understand why people meditate. (And to an extent, I still struggle…) But when I left the leasing office I began to understand the importance of recognizing thoughts enter (and exit!) my mind and how they impact my body. I am definitely not experienced enough in meditation to make the practice useful… but, I can now see why meditating would be helpful! (Good thing I already purchased a Headspace subscription. Phew! Now about finding time to use it...)

In short, let’s just say that trauma can be a very powerful teaching aide. (Ouch.) But, as my mom always said, “Everything happens for a reason.” She’s right. Truer words could not have been spoken... Thanks, Mom! (#lessonlearned)

Debra Swersky